Ok. So I didn’t plan to post again this soon. But, this popped into my brain and God won’t let me let it go. I don’t know who this is for, but I do know my friends with chronic illness will potentially relate.
I don’t want to talk about my pain, God.
It’s weak.
I will sound like a whiny mess.
I don’t want to sound like that, God.
Ok. That is partially my charismatic upbringing talking.
The whole “don’t speak that pain over yourself”. Don’t admit struggle.
“Name and claim” your healing. Demonstrate enough faith and it will be! π
Sigh. I still have that residue in me when it comes to sharing how I am really feeling…
But, still my mind goes on-
Others have it worse, anyway.
I’m not in a wheelchair yet.
I can feed myself.
Take a bath.
Walk for some distance.
Make cookies.
Draw.
Write.
Pray.
Sing and dance for You, albeit awkwardly.
So what if I have to sit down a lot.
And so soon after I got up to do something! π
So I have to be mindful of not looking too high up, position my head on a pillow just so that, when I go to bed, I avoid vertigo.
No spontaneous naps on the couch for me, though my body does try it when I am exhausted, anyway! π
So I wake up expecting achy joints of varying degrees, allergies year-round, and depleted energy before I even roll out of bed.
So I don’t get to teach anymore and have had to turn down job offers for fear I can’t guarantee I can fulfill them on any given day.
So I can’t really be a help to my husband’s handyman work or be a D.I.Y. on my own house like all those cute couples on HGTV.
So my hands and shoulders are to the point I cannot safely support a baby in the church nursery.
So I have to be more and more cautious what I feed these delicate innards. No….today is not a cheese day. Cheese is dairy. And dairy doesn’t like me right now.
Just scrape that off my pizza, please. π
So the highest I can climb is my tiny step stool and, even then, I must carefully position these long, skinny, teetery feet.
So I even fall down occasionally from this wacky lack of balance I have.
So those achy joints I spoke of might even sometimes slip out of sockets and have to be cautiously put back in.
Yep. Really. So what?
So I have EDS. That’s Ehlers-Danlos to the uninformed.
I could expound but, the effects are so wide-spread and so varied, you’d do better to just look it up (Note-I am just in the annoying, somewhat life-altering but not-quite-so-bad category comparitively speaking.).
Essentially, though, those are not things I want to talk about, God! Please don’t make me!
Oh, I know I just did spend a whole post on it…π
But, what I mean is, where this can lead to major depression at times, I must refuse to dwell.
I cannot dwell-
Not when I have You, my strength, my rock.
You who leads me to rocks that are higher than I….and makes sure I don’t fall off them! π
You who brings me joy and love and peace every day. Even incredibly achy joint days.
Not to mention the worthy promise this body, this thing which houses me and rebels against my desires all at once, is not for always.
I sometimes feel rather trapped now, but there will come that day of the new.
This earth will indeed be set right.
And this dilapidated house for my soul will, too.
One day, I will hurt no more.
Nor will any of you, my friends…that is, if you trust Jesus.
Blessings and prayers to you. Thanks for reading my “whiny mess.” I hope you got something out of it. π
Well, I can relate to so much of this. Thank you for this. β€β€β€
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So glad, Linda! You’re welcome! β€
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Wonderful post, Marissa. I can relate to it so much. Andrew and I both have our chronic health struggles, but we are sort of in between as well. Double the illness is hard, but the Lord comes through and we have each other. I don’t like to dwell on it either, but sharing burdens is so good for us. It helps us to find the positives through all of the negatives, and lifts our spirits and our eyes to the one who brings true Joy. β€
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Thank you so much, Tina! Very glad you could relate! Amen to sharing our burdens! He means for us to encourage one another and point each other to Him! Thank you for being an important part of that for me! β€
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βΊ<3
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Sorry.. one too many “S'” in your name. Typed too fast, βΊ
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No worries! Happens to me all the time! π
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Very timely. I too have health struggles & I currently in the hospital. Blessings to yo my friend. Thanks for sharing.
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Oh, sorry to read you are in the hospital yet glad this could be timely! Sending love, hugs, and prayers, Barb! May you feel His presence right now! β€
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Praying for you Barb!
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Thanks
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The hospitalization was planned (thus the reason that I am on a break from writing)
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Ah, ok. I understand.
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I will be writing about it soon
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Praying for you ma’am. Hope you are back home now?. Stay safe and wishing you a quick recovery. β€
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Yes, I only had to stay one night. Now the real work begins
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Praying God’s strength for you as you work through recovery, Barb.
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Thank you, my friend. Jesus is holding my hand as I continue my journey
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You’re welcome. Amen to that!
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Okay. Glad to know you have been discharged. π€
Please take care of yourself. I pray for a quick recovery. And do take it easy on yourself too – a day at a time. β€
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Thanks….trying to
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Ok. Cool! Looking forward to it! π
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Thanks for sharing Marisa! Praying for you.
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Absolutely! Thank you, Dawn! Much appreciated! β€
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Love you pretty lady! Be encouraged you are not alone!
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Aww, thank you, Mandy! Love you, too, my beautiful friend!β€
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Thank you!!!
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I’m sorry you are going through so much right now, Marisa. Amid your pain, you haven’t forgotten your help comes from the Lord. God is with you! Praying for you!
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Thank you, DeborahMarie! Yes, indeed, He is with me. I feel His presence. So grateful for His help. Appreciate the prayers very much! β€
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Thank you for being honest and open with this. Hugs. His strength is with you. β€
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And thank YOU for reading! Amen! So grateful for His strength!
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You are welcome. π€
ππ
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Nice share! ππ½
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Thank you, Warren! π
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Youβre welcome!
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I’m suddenly reminded why I love you, why I dive into your jots. “…this thing which houses me…”. God’s stabilizing grip – Alan
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Aww, thanks, Alan! That means a lot. π It’s all about the perspective for me. When I remember the finite is not all there is, I can keep the joy of the Lord.
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