Hey, there, friends! I thought it was time I chimed in for a moment to reassure you I am in the land of the living.
Doing the wife and mom thing 24/7, doing the cooking for an amazing passel of youth on Wednesdays, and doing an awful lot of introspection in- between.
On things like purpose, God’s plans, and the circuitous way life can often go when desperately chasing those things.
Or, when you just think you are. 😏
It gives me a laugh, albeit a slightly rueful one, to realize how often He has to show me He is not done with breathing the breathe of life on me, nor equipping and encouraging me.
And, yet, I often seem to take a little breath of my own, ruminate on the vision He is placing in front of me, and shake my foolish head. And then, I dare to petulantly remind Him of my tattered rags, my awkward ways, and do what I do best….
Run! (Figuratively speaking, of course😉)
How easily I forget what He has done before and what He can do again!
The lists of “look what He’s done for me’s” stretch behind me like parchments curling for miles!
Redemption of family.
Healing of hearts.
Breakthroughs and bounties beyond imagination.
Sure, there were looming anxieties pursuing me then and new ones cropping up now…
BUT-there is STILL Jesus.
He never abdicates the throne nor neglects His precious own!
He is the joy-giver whatever the world comes at you with!
And I know this. As in, have ample experience with this!
Yet, how quickly do I dismiss leaning on this joy that abides despite circumstance!
How often do I find myself bogged in a fretful state instead of seeking solace in His arms!
Far too often, friends!
That said, I do find myself in recent days swapping thoughts with the Lord.
Feeling His delight and finding dappled moments of my own.
And, perhaps, finally beginning to reawaken to my sense of purpose in Him.
Now, I’d still characterize myself a “functioning” depressive. It’s hard to face many days, yet facing them I am.
But not alone, mind you! The sweet Lord is there, handing me the key.
For, in Him, I am realizing that, yes, there is a somber shadow cast on my soul that is just there. And just going to be.
But, that is not necessarily bad.
For, strangely, it is one that is not without a purpose of its own.
For, in many ways, the shadow is really just a piece of how it feels to rest in His wings.
In them, He reminds me we need the deep thinkers in this world, the grievers of our times, the ones that recognize where we’re at and why.
And He counts me among them.
Not to be superior nor to scold without tempering in love.
Rather, to alert us these are grave days we are in. We are nearer and nearer to His return by the day.
Salvation is at hand. And it is imperative we both take it to heart and share the truth with others while we yet may.
Now, risk of walking in this shadow comes in allowing satan to twist the reasons for the weeping, to become distracted from the cause God has in mind, and to be lured away from the protective cover of His wings to the true darkness beyond.
For, then, we are prone to surrender to the assaults the world flings at our souls.
Not to mention there is the temptation to chase our own tail in the process!
But-the rewards in the shadow? Ah, the rewards!
Life and life eternal in the presence of our most Holy Lord!
For He alone is infinitely worth every moment of the chase; all the rest the heart clamors for is merely temporal!
Speaking of chasing…
The following song has been known to me a long while, but only recently popped back on my radar.
I first heard it at a concert Andrew Peterson was opening for. The simple honesty of it resonated in my aching heart then and it still does now. Perhaps, even more so.
Have a listen and be blessed, dear friends! Thank you for the prayers! I can definitely feel them! Know that you always have mine, too. ❤