Had to dig waaaay back in my archives for this one, friends. It touched on a situation that was rather painful.
Then, it actually faded away for a time. I thought it was done.
Ah, but, now, in this last year, it has come back full force.
I find myself alternately weeping to God and aching inside with bitterness as I watch the one dearest to me, my second chance at life and love, put others ahead of me.
Not helpful in my depressive state, to say the least!
Perhaps, another major contributing factor, truth be known.
For my discernment still screams caution in big red letters while his seems to say plunge ahead. Way ahead.
And either drag me along or abandon me to my unkind little self.
Oh, just that word “abandon”…😔
My every fiber shakes at it.
Now, I fret at moments that it all does just boil down to my social anxiety and massive struggles to trust.
My dear one seems to attribute all to that, too.
Yet…there are things and situations clearly and not-so-clearly crossing boundaries that I feel I should be assertive enough to say are just not cool to me without accusations of inhospitality.
I have received advice from a dear friend or two stating as much, leading me to believe maybe it’s not just that I am crazy or antisocial.
Maybe there is something to it.
But, as the situation drags on….
And on…and my feelings feel more and more back-seated….
I find I am feeling too weary to fight and to try drawing more lines, knowing they will only be erased….
At any rate, enough jabber. Click the link and read on if you’re so inclined. And keep me in prayer as I continue to navigate this incredibly tricky season.
And my apologies if I seem really vague. I just can’t spell it all out here. It’s just…too much.
Anyway, thank you. Blessings and prayers as ever, dear friends. ❤