Well, hello there to anyone still hanging around these incredibly silent halls.

Don’t adjust your dial (oy, does that ever date me….😏)

Yes, it’s me.

I am here….

And I’m not.

Huh? What now? πŸ€”

Well, I don’t want this to be misconstrued.

This is not the umpteenth “Welcome Back, Kotter” moment in my life.

Expect no sudden, prolific flow from this pitiful scribe’s brain.

Those things which I wrestled with when I closed this door continue to press in on all sides. My ability to articulate as well as just the sheer drive to do so remain largely seized up inside.

Seriously. You should see how my fingers stutter over the keys right now, trying their darndest to summon up the right phrasing.

But such is the land of living. Questions dangle, obligations loom, but still, we put one foot in front of the other.

Or one finger after another on homerow….😏

So….if this is so much like a dental visit ( the yanking teeth kind), the biggest question might be why do it at all?

Well, nothing profound really.

For there are no big “wows” in my world to report.

The family is in the thick of what it always is right now…school, music, and scraping together a livelihood.

My pain goes on, too, but, hey, there is breath in my lungs, so that’s good.

But, overall, it’s such a nothingness to share I hesitated long and hard whether I even should.

Still, something in my gut just had a longing to come and be here.

Just for a few moments.

To say hello. To say I miss you, friends.

To say I think about and pray for you often.

And to remind myself vulnerability isn’t the same as weakness.

That derision isn’t always a forgone conclusion to opening my troubled soul.

That I can still form a few paltry words here and maybe find a friend genuinely glad to see me on the other end.

For there is worth in that simple thing, I suppose.

In this all-too-often harsh, cold-shouldered world, we have need of one another.

I know this in the depths of my being but, sometimes, depression can hem in on all sides and give a pretty convincing argument to just stay in that isolated place for safety’s sake.

Admitting to it can be the challenge of a lifetime.

But, perhaps, well worth trying…

Again, where this isn’t to say I am returning to penning a lot of profound thought, there is a lovely something in being here I cannot deny.

Now, I don’t really know what awaits me following the press of the ol’ send button, of course.

And, again, no idea what the future of my work here holds.

Yet, I know I must follow the Godly hand guiding it…

So, for the first time in months, let me say thanks for reading, dear friends. Blessings and prayers. ❀

28 thoughts on “Here

      1. Just to let you know something… you’ve posted for a few hours now and have 12 likes and a ton of love.

        I came back over 24 hours ago and only have 8 likes and and 64 comments full of oddities. So….. you’re pretty loved.. 😊

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Now, now…no comparisons allowed. πŸ™‚ Comments full of oddities can be fun too. But, yes, it is such an encouragement to feel the love here. It reminds me what the family of God can and should be. 😊

        Liked by 1 person

  1. You don’t give yourself enough credit, Marissa. You have a gift for words, and even when “nothing” is happening, you plumb the depths of that “nothing” and glean some wisdom to share with the rest of us.
    Good to hear from you, sister.
    Blessings,
    Annie

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Why, Here? To be encouraged, and know missed. Why, Here? To share your heart, and see loved. Why, Here? God’s love? Blessings to you, you’re still in prayer! There’s a post, you should read; My Friend(s). πŸ™πŸ½

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I’m sorry that things haven’t pepped up for you Marisa. Yes, depression most definitely does make you want to isolate. It’s a real push. I know the feeling too well. I’m so glad to see you back though. When I opened my email just now to see what reads there were ‘Just a Jesus Girl’ was the first thing I wanted to read. Marisa is back!
    The struggles continue, and that’s not easy, but it was good to read that I’m not the only one who understands this. That doesn’t sound right. It sounds a bit like misery loves company or I don’t sympathize with your challenges. But I do, and I want you to know that you’re not the only one who feels this way. Not every one can openly share the greys.That makes those who are willing to share so important to the cause of truth. You may not feel like you shine. But you do and you’re memorable. Take care and blessings friend. ❀❀❀❀❀❀

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi, dear Tina! How wonderful to see you here! I have thought of you often and hope you are well. No worries! I know how well you understand! In your understanding is great comfort, actually. Sometimes, just knowing you are not alone can lift the heart. I am certainly experiencing that here. Thank you so much and blessings to you! ❀❀❀❀❀

      Liked by 1 person

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