When God Makes a Match Out of Our Mess, or the How Marisa Met Joe Story, Part Two

Well, hello there, friends! Ready for part two of this crazy tale?

If not, you can find part one here.

Ok. Ready now?

Let’s see…when we left off, I was fed up with being a lonely single mama.

First, I admit I did look around my church with a fresh eye, hoping someone I hadn’t noticed in my “waiting on a miracle” days might have possibilities.

But…

Honestly, even though there were a couple of nice guys, there weren’t really any leaping at the opportunity to date a hurting mom of three, two on the autism spectrum.

Well, understandable. It isn’t for everybody. 😏

So, that idea dashed, I grabbed my phone one night (after about the umpteenth time bawling with deep-seated envy over old movies with “happily ever afters”. ).

I did the googly thingy and found one of the more famous dating sites, let my somewhat windy writing style have a field day, agonized through selfies and set up shop in the “looking for love” business.

A rather silent affair for a time, frankly. I reached out to the nice-sounding ones.

I found myself ignored.

I attempted aloofness.

Aloofness was what I got in return.

Go figure.😉

And then, I think I really let myself get angry with God.

Not a good place to be with your Creator!

Because I found the most anti-God, albeit charmingly dark-humored sort I could and dared him to go out with the nicey-nice Christian girl.

He took me up on it, unfortunately.

And what followed was a horrifying few months, swinging between outright rebellion and missionary dating.

Either way, I plunged my heart in and felt pieces of soul begin to give way before he decided he was through with me.

And after he was done, I found what felt like the whole World Series of Mr. Wrongs.

To each I kept flinging out piece after piece of myself, hoping for some shred of love for my trouble.

Some were kinder than others, admittedly, but none possessed for me the love I craved.

I was too ashamed to introduce a single one to family.

To this day, I am grateful I never did.

I still carried the knowledge of God in those days, trying to straddle that proverbial fence but, of course, finding it painful.

And I’d be lying if I didn’t admit I could feel the enormous weight of the grief He felt for the state of my life.

As time and the hole in my heart wore on, I stopped recognizing myself.

Though the specter of suicidal thoughts did seem dismayingly familiar.

It was about this time I decided I had had my last with this website.

The guy I was seeing at this time didn’t even make a pretense of being interested in anything more than convenience.

I tried to put on a jaded air in return, but it was like an ugly Halloween mask that didn’t quite fit.

Inside, I was crying out in my heart to God for an absolution to all this madness.

I didn’t want this anymore. Never really did.

So…quickly as I signed up, I made up my mind I was going to pull the plug on this demoralizing mess.

It was the only way.

Yet…an irresistable tug caused me to take one last scroll through these ill-fated, soul-crushing profiles.

And…all at once, there I saw him. My Joe. ❤ ( Told you he was coming! 😊) Never saw him on the site before, though he’d been listed a good two years.

He had a sweet, goofy smile and twinkly blue eyes. He looked approachable and unaffected by any attempt to be something he wasn’t.

His profile spoke a lot of the simple things in life, something my complicated world begged for.

So refreshing was his write-up, in fact, that I forgot about pulling the plug.

Instead, there I was writing to him. I told myself I just had to tell him I appreciated his words.

I really didn’t expect a reply, reminding myself how the nice ones never did that.

They were too busy with the girls nicer than me.

And, for days, I heard nothing.

I thought I was right. The disappointment stung despite the vindication.

I had had hopes in spite of myself. Sigh.

And then, one evening after I had shoved the whole idea from my head, there went the little “bing” on my phone!

I had mail, it read. From some guy named Joe. 😮😊

I had not been so eager to open and read something in a long while.

And what I read? Well, it truly floored me.

His two chief priorities in life: Christ and family. He hoped I felt the same.

He was a regional truck driver, hence he had not had opportunity to reply till now (Aha! Little Cynic, my brain chided). Feel free to write back, he added.

In fact, he hoped I would.

And, naturally, I did, with fingers flying. 😊

These exchanges kept up for quite a few weeks. Phone numbers were added to the mix.

We discovered we both had a thing for nostalgia and that we could neither one dance.

We shared the hurt of a failed marriage and frustration with the whole dating scene.

Most importantly, we shared Christ and the redemption to be found only in Him.

In fact, I attribute this momentous meeting to reawakening my heart to this truth.

But, still, in all the goodness was yet a rather pertinent question-

What about my kids? Hmmm…

And that, dear friends, shall be covered in part three…😉

Thanks for reading. Hope you are enjoying. Blessings and prayers!

The Fix

Just some pondering over the many discussions of the last few days. I felt like sharing a poem or two, maybe an old post, was enough. God said otherwise. 😏 Actually, what I heard was when you’ve got an answer, don’t sit on it. Even if your voice is simply joining others saying the same, you never know who needs to hear it from you….

How do we fix society’s ills?

Ideas abound:

Give what you’ve been given for centuries.

Hurt for hurt. Pain for pain. It’s “Biblical”.

Forget trusting God who says “vengeance is mine”. We can’t wait or trust in His results.

Instead, we must nurse the rancor.

Build that festering wound of bitterness.

Blame whoever is handy, as if they possess the power all by themselves to heal what is actually a heart problem that goes on and on because of the disease of sin!

A disease we all carry! Not one is righteous! No, not even one!

That’s His words, by the way. Not mine.

But, ah, do we listen? Can anyone truly hear above the din of our own endless rhetoric slung back and forth?

Oh, we do hear the words. But, hearing and heeding are two different things.

Hearing without heeding does bring a reply. But, it often goes something like this:

No! the cry goes up in return to His voice. That can’t be right! We can’t all be guilty! That goes against the very fabric of our narrative!

We are the blameless put-upon! We can’t be part of the problem! It’s them. Not us!!

And so, in one fell swoop, ears turn to stone against His call to holiness.

We grab our band-aids in an attempt to stem the gushing wound of our debauchery to no avail.

Keep rallying the shouts there! comes the command. Shame anyone who isn’t properly towing the line or advancing the pre-approved agenda!

Throw a few bricks. Fling a molotov or two. Set some fires.

Doesn’t really matter where. Everywhere, after all, represents a place of oppression.

Shatter the glass holding you out.

Grab what you want or need.

Grab even if you don’t want or need it. Grab it because it’s theirs, but should be yours. Grab for anger’s sake because anger justifies all.

Bail out those who have committed lesser crimes, because why should they have to be held accountable for anything because those guys in blue are worse?

All guys in blue are worse!

It’s impossible to recognize the grievious fault in both sides!

Ruins the narrative!

You are either on one side or the other:

Cowering in an apologetic heap because of the color you were born as or lording it over others because of the same.

There is no room for pinpointing the harder truths, namely:

There is no fixing a mortal wound of bleeding morality with anything humanity can devise.

Only in Jesus Christ and Him crucified do we find the balm for all these ills we’ve wrought on ourselves.

We can talk a good talk about deeper regulations, further accountability.

The importance of voting in someone who cares.

We can claim turning our cities into war-zones will teach those who need to learn and right all the wrongs of generations long.

We can misquote previous leaders to apply their words to the agenda which suits.

And we can verbally browbeat all those who do not follow suit.

We can even claim God for our “side” and wave Him like a banner.

Consulting Him is often considered optional in such cases, of course.

Yes, we can do all that, but, not one bit of that will ever heal us. In fact, for quite a few of those things, they are destined to further harm us.

Oh, friends, I know so, so many are hurting. I know. I cannot offer much but to say and keep saying:

Only in Him. Only in deep, ongoing abiding in Him can we ever find healing!

Now, more than ever, salvation through Christ must be our answer.

The fix, if you will. The one and only fix.

I am praying it’s yours. Blessings to you and thank you for reading! Much love in Christ to you! ❤

If you have questions about salvation or anything else, email me-

godslittlebutterflyphil413@gmail.com