Hello, my friends! It feels like another longish stretch since I have been here! I hope no one feels too neglected. Though my days have taken a different shape in some ways, my heart and my prayers are ever with you. ☺ Hoping this finds you well and seeking the Lord.
I am striving ever for that myself in the midst of crafting a new way to do school, but, I think I am due for some stark honesty here.
It’s funny, really…
Despite my longing to craft other things-to write, to inspire and to be inspired, I am finding it much more taxing to gather my words when I finally do find a moment.
Perhaps it’s just circumstantial.
Circumstances are admittedly…unorthodox, shall we say?- at this stage of our lives.
For all, of course, but, I think especially of us impromptu home schooling parents right now. 😉
Now, I am in the somewhat unique position of being accustomed to the life of a relative recluse for a variety of reasons ranging from my physical struggles to my carefully guarded, incredibly introverted nature. 😒
Not to mention, frankly, long years of the instinctual limitations that often come of parenting special needs.
I do miss church in-person-even if I was frequently the quietest one in the place- as well as cooking for and listening to the banter of our youth group.
Not to mention the simplicity of just strolling into a store on one of my good days with a modicum of abandon.
I am also finding it a bit deflating currently that our technology is too old and creaky to participate in many of the neat things others are doing virtually, as well as the fact my pocketbook isn’t too giving for the updates (Yet, for our actual needs, what we possess suffices, so, I feel gratitude should have its way over such complaints, really. ).
And, much as I am adoring this gift of extended hours with my dear children, I do find moments of longing for the few quiet chunks of the day I had formerly possessed, naturally.
But, all that aside, I can really chuckle to myself that I was born to “stay at home” and scarcely needed an order to do so. 😉
So…it isn’t truly these aspects draining me of creative juices. Not really.
Maybe…maybe it’s just time in of itself that has me thrown- paradoxical thing that it is.
Such a precious commodity.
So daunting yet interesting to be presented a drastic reordering of it.
I am cheering on those who are and praying others will be able to capture the silver lining gleaming in the clouds here.
Yet, it’s also consternating how oddly the hands of the clock move these days.
Meandering down unfamiliar paths yet still remaining swift as ever.
Routines upended and rearranged. Things to be let go of, new things to be embraced.
I have to say management in our family of all such has been remarkably blessed by God’s ever-guiding hand.
In any household, that’s something to rejoice in.
In an autism household? Truly miraculous.☺
We are poised for our last three weeks of school already and in pretty good stead with all that it entails.
Yet, all that it entails adds up to… well, an awful lot of this baffling time thing we speak of, leaving little room for expanding thoughts to the avenues once enjoyed.
Words have been fading away from something to skip in a field of flowers with.
Words, rather, have morphed into something to teach how to sound out and how to spell.
To write neatly on the line and to properly define.
Perhaps inserted into a bit of essay coaching for flavor.
Which can have its own brand of satisfaction-don’t get me wrong.
It’s a rare joy to shape my kids in this way.
But, delight in shaping words unto the Lord?
The thirst remains, but time seems to be sapping the wherewithal lately.
Even writing all this, my mind is so…back and forth. It’s not coming in the flurry of phrases that I typically enjoy.
This is certainly not the big revelation I hoped for in time away, nor the encouragement I wanted to be able to give.
But, then, the time away is not really the time away in the sense of sabbatical.
At least, not in traditional sense.
Ah, but He reminds-when was anything ever traditional with me? 😊
So…I am left with this, as I have ever been left with this in my very interior yet very demanding world…
Shaking off the whiny, first-world-woes and grabbing hold of God, where I can, as I can, surrendering to the fact He is resident Keeper of the times, even these seemingly crazy ones.
And I rest in knowing He is ever there, smiling down on me in His infinite love, whether I am crafting an intricate poem to Him or just a shiny aluminium foil robot costume with my youngest for art time. ☺
When our hearts are right, they each honor Him, after all.
I am so selective on sharing pictures of my kiddos. But this one begged to be shared. Literally. 😀
Blessings and prayers, dear friends!Appreciate the read! Keep resting in Him!